From Hi5 - December 19, 2004

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Feeling tired today, didn't sleep well last... still have a lot on my mind... just kind of have no taste for my life right now... I think I really need to get out and do something, but it's the kick in the butt that I need...

I keep thinking, once Gabriel hits three,... maybe I'll go back to school... or maybe when they're all in school... I have been thinking recently that maybe, if I go back to school I could study web design... that's something I really like to do and it would pay better than hairdressing...

Still working on the hair salon thing... it is really hard to advance at all, because DH has other priorities besides cleaning up in here, and he's still blaming me for not wanting to really start one up... but how can I seriously invite anyone in here when there is such a mess? If it were my stuff... half of it would be gone by now... garbage, SVP, given away, recycled, whatever,... I mean some of this stuff has been in boxes for over 10 years!!! Time to get rid of it!!! I am so tired of the mess here, but nothing gets done to get rid of it... DH works late, and is too tired to do anything when he gets home... the past two months he's had courses everyweekend on top of everything... it's been like being a single mom. I don't even hang out with him when he is home... I come down here to the computer... he watches TV,... I'm not interested in TV.

I am so tired of his snide remarks about mass and religion and everything, his jokes are so old, they're not funny anymore... He was going at it again this morning and I just ignored him, didn't even look at him, just got up to put the dishes away...

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